Day 17: The Answer is Nothing

Thirty-five years ago I did a solo bicycle trip from the Mexico border through Canada. It was a dark time for me ... I was going through a divorce and many of my core values had been shaken. Being alone for six weeks provided me with a forced solitude that challenged me to examine my beliefs and reconsider ... well, everything.

The following journal entry was written a little over halfway through my journey somewhere in near the Oregon - Washington border circa 1985.

NOTHING -

Somewhere on the Oregon Coast -

I didn’t conjure this with effort. It is raining, the weather is cold, wet and miserable – so circumstances are not pristine. Yet, here it is!

Call it what you will - “Peace” - “Joy” - a feeling of acceptance - from myself to be sure, but from a Source somewhere beyond myself, too. -And it hasn’t been brought about by anything I have done - unless the rhythm of the cycling has somehow called the Spirit forth.

But, I don’t believe that is it! - What is the source of this wholeness, this holiness that envelops me?

Nothing is the answer!

I have been doing nothing long enough now that I can finally hear the Silence - it has transcended my shell of defensiveness and my need to be someone. Grace is here – and suddenly, deeply I know that the wildflowers along route one have a glorious indifference to my presence - I have entered the moment as a guest and the Host has let me know with a palpable peace that I belong ...

My purpose is no longer to do - to defend - to prove - to accomplish ... It is to listen - to think - to appreciate - to participate in the moment!

I am thankful for this gift. I could never earn - nor steal anything this wonderful - This full of wonder!

#Journaling #TheJourney #Journeyof1000Days #Seeing #Paradigm #Change #Solitude #Relationships